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We spend a lot of time imagining the regret of choosing wrong. Much less time imagining the regret of never choosing.
That asymmetry matters. Because action is visible. Inaction is quiet.
If you act and it goes badly, you notice immediately. If you do nothing, the cost often arrives slowly: the missed opportunity, the unlived version of your life, the question you keep returning to years later.
So when you ask:“What if I regret this?”there is another question worth asking:“What if I regret never finding out?”
Afraid of choosing wrong? Start here → Fear of Making the Wrong Decision?
1. Action feels riskier because the consequences are easier to imagine
When you take action, you become responsible for an outcome. That makes regret feel close. You can picture the failed launch. The wrong job. The move that didn’t work. The relationship you left too soon.
Research on regret has long found that negative outcomes caused by action can feel especially salient in the short term. But research on real-life regrets also shows that inaction can become more prominent over time.
That does not mean action is always better. It means our emotional forecasting may overweight the pain of doing something and underweight the cost of doing nothing.
2. Inaction is still a decision
This is one of the easiest things to miss. Staying is a decision. Waiting is a decision. Not applying is a decision. Not launching is a decision. Not asking is a decision. Not choosing preserves the status quo, but the status quo still has consequences.
A 2023 systematic review and meta-analysis on decision avoidance found that avoiding decisions does not reliably protect people from regret across all forms of avoidance.
So “I’ll decide later” is not neutral.It is a choice with its own future.
Know what you want but still can’t move? → I Know What I Want. So Why Can’t I Act?
3. Ask what exactly you are protecting
When people delay a decision, they are often protecting something. Money, status, belonging, certainty, someone else’s approval, their image of themselves.That can be completely rational. But name it.
Ask: What am I protecting by not acting?Then ask: Is that protection worth the cost? This moves the decision away from vague fear and toward something you can actually evaluate.
4. Separate short-term regret from long-term regret
The question: “Will I regret this tomorrow?” is different from: “Will I regret this ten years from now?”
Research across several cultures has found that people often report more regrets of inaction than action when looking back over the long term.
But the picture is not simple. More recent research emphasizes that regret depends on context, justification, counterfactual thinking, and the specific decision rather than following a universal rule that action is always regretted less.
That nuance matters. The point is not: Act, because inaction is always worse. The point is: Compare both time horizons. What might you regret next week? What might you regret in ten years? Those answers may be different.
5. Use the 80-year-old test carefully
Imagine yourself at 80 looking back at this decision.
Ask: What would bother me more — choosing wrong or never choosing?
This can be powerful because it changes the time horizon. Suddenly the immediate embarrassment, uncertainty, or discomfort may look smaller. But it is not magic. Your 80-year-old self does not know the future either. Use the question as a perspective shift, not as an oracle. The useful part is noticing what becomes important when short-term fear loses some of its volume.
6. Ask whether the opportunity has an expiry date
Some decisions can wait. Some cannot. A job offer expires. A market changes. A relationship evolves. A child grows up. Your energy changes. Your financial situation changes. Your willingness to take risk changes.
Ask: If I wait one year, will this still be available in roughly the same form? If yes, you may have time. If no, the cost of waiting deserves more weight.
7. Don’t force a lifetime decision if you can run a test
This is where regret becomes easier to manage.
You may not need to decide: Should I completely change careers?You may need to decide: Should I take one project in that field?
You may not need to decide: Should I build this company?You may need to decide: Should I test whether five people will pay?
You may not need to decide: Should I move permanently?You may need to decide: Should I spend a month there?
The smaller and more reversible the next move, the less useful it is to demand certainty. Inaction feels safe because its cost arrives quietly. That may be the most important thing to remember.
A wrong move can hurt loudly. A missed move can hurt slowly. Neither is automatically worse. The real task is to compare them honestly.
So ask: If I act, what might I regret?Then: If I don’t act, what might I regret?
And finally: Which regret am I more willing to live with?
You do not need to choose the rest of your life today.You need to decide whether this is something you are willing to leave untested.
Too Many Options? How to Choose Without Needing Certainty →
What will bother you more — choosing wrong or never choosing?
7 questions. One next move.Take the 7-Question Dare →